Monday, April 26, 2010

we are made to do this

to me, it is incredibly relieving to know that god made everything.

i used to have terrible fears that i would run out of ideas. as a person who felt totally committed to a life of creativity and expression, that was an awful thing to think of. if i ran out of ideas, i would not be able to live!

over years i wrestled with the question, and ultimately my fears were comforted and ultimately completely swept away by a growing conviction that all ideas come from god and grow out of simply living life. god will never run out of ideas. and creativity is not a frenzied personal experience of inspiration - here one minute and gone the next.

rather, i have come to see creativity as walking through the orchard of my thoughts, picking and choosing the apples i love most. i dont have to make the apples - they are already there. they grow on the trees. all i have to do is be interested in them. i have to be interested in my thoughts. i need to have a great love for thoughts. i have to notice when i see something that moves me, and then respect that feeling.

i have learned that creation (on my end) is not making anything. rather, it is a record of my exploration of ideas. when i go on one of these walks through that orchard i am encountering thoughts i have never had before. and when i encounter new thoughts, i have to explore them. and as i think and feel because of these new thoughts, i make records of what has happened. these come out in the form of songs, paintings, poems, whatever.

i will never, ever feel afraid of running out of ideas - because life keeps moving forward. there is so much progress to make, so much improving to do, so much to explore. and i dont have to make up a single one of them. they come naturally with exploration.

the only way to not have this happen is to not explore. without exploring, there are no new ideas. if there are no new ideas to encounter, there is no "creativity".

if we want to be creative, if we want to feel the juices flowing, we have to be interested in things. we have to be open to newness. interest, fascination, appreciation, attention - these things are the beginning of creativity. we never do anything first. we are always responding to life, to the inner voice, to wisdom, beauty, wonder, in whatever form it takes.

new ideas cause us to change. they transform us. with creativity there is no remaining the same. real creativity forces us to grow. and there is no way to foresee what this growth will be. it will be what it is, and it will be for our good.

we are made to do this.